I’ve noticed that the general lesbian community hates on bi-girls. I believe bi-girls have both negatives and positives. Bi-girls are not the type of girl to get involved with if you’re a lesbian looking for a serious long lasting relationship. However, bi-girls are perfect for the lesbian who wants much less strings attached in a relationship. But what about bi-curious girls? I am not even sure what that exactly means, “bi-curious”. But I am thinking its somewhere in-between those two types of bi-girls.


I think it’s only natural to be curious about your sexuality. I have come across lesbians who feel “more of a lesbian” so to speak because they’ve come out earlier in life, or they knew they were gay from an extremely young age or even never slept with a man. I think that’s bullshit by the way. It shouldn’t matter when you came out but that you’ve found yourself finally.


I had a very hard time dating women in the beginning for multiple reasons, but mostly because I hadn’t had any experience dating women. It was just as unfair as having a college degree and not being able to get the job due to inexperience in that field. And since I was not experienced dating women I was also privileged to explore various types of women, which I do not regret and at times thoroughly enjoyed. One major conflict remained in the women I dated – they labeled me as “bi”. It was a constant problem because although I dated men up until then, I always wanted to date women but had no resources. I am from Southern New Jersey just outside of Philadelphia, sure we have the “gayborhood” but it is mostly full of gay men and the “lesbian circle” there is pretty tight. I literally had to go out of my way to meet lesbians. I started going online, signed up for OkCupid and POF, and I even talked a few straight friends to come to Sisters lesbian bar in Philly with me. Sisters is now closed down but it was the best!! I always had a great time and met new women every time. Anyway, it just wasn’t fair.


Today I consider myself a lesbian. I was a bi-girl for about a single minute while my “bi-curious” time was with men. I don’t get too much heat for dating men in the past right now. Living now in Western Massachusetts I have found a very large lesbian community where I feel the most comfortable. I love New Jersey and it may always feel more like “home” but the area I am at now I feel more the myself I always wanted to be.




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