PART 2: SIMON, THAT WAS A COLD ONE.

Today is Sunday, and Simon and I slept in after not getting back from the beach until almost midnight. She helped me moved some furniture from my storage unit to a smaller one. I treated her to lunch in my favorite lesbian town of Northampton. We walked around a bit and saw the botanical garden at Smith College. Then we went to a bar for two drinks. When we got back to my place we smoked some weed, swam in the pool, took our dogs for a walk, and picked fresh kale from the garden. As I was preparing the kale to be cooked, Simon came into the kitchen and told me she was leaving.

I didn’t say anything at first. I knew this time was coming, but she was suppose to spend tonight with me too. Simon wasn’t suppose to leave until Monday afternoon when I leave for work. I responded, “okay” to her. I didn’t want to hear the reason right away, because I assumed it had everything to do with the girlfriend. Simon asked me to not hate her, and to hate her only after she leaves. Then she asked me to walk her out to the car. I said no and told her I wasn’t going to walk her out because I wanted her to stay with me tonight. She said, “things got deeper than I expected and that’s why I have to leave”. I asked her once more to stay, but she said she couldn’t. I stayed in the kitchen cooking the kale while Simon packed her car, got her dog, and left. There was nothing I could say or do to make her change her mind. I already knew she wasn’t available.

I didn’t expect this to hurt so bad. Simon and I had a connection that I wasn’t anticipating. And it’s obvious to me that the feeling was mutual. My heart hurts tonight.

After Simon left I felt frozen in time. I hoped she would be in my bedroom when I returned, but she wasn’t. She hasn’t called me either and I don’t expect her to. And I will not contact her. I refuse to set myself up for another heartbreak. Simon came out of nowhere because she is not my typical “butch” type. Simon wears pretty bras and underwear, bikini to the beach, and some eye makeup.

I am going to miss her…

 

PART 1: SIMON, THAT WAS A COLD ONE.

Last weekend I hosted a fire at my new place. I invited some friends of mine and a girl who I had been talking to online on and off for about 6 months. Her name is Kim, and she brought her best friend/roommate with her too. Her best friend’s name is Simon. It was a really fun time. We drank, smoked weed, and talked and laughed well past midnight. Long story short, I ended up making out with Simon. I was really feeling her energy. And her kiss was amazing! Well, Kim ended up waking up from the drunk nap she was taking on my bed and they both ended up leaving at 3:30AM. I didn’t say a word to her, I just looked at Simon, and asked if her friend was okay. Looking into Simon’s eyes was unreal. There was something there. I felt something.

Simon has short black hair, she’s originally a blonde though. She’s short compared to me. She’s 5’3 (I think) and I am 5’8. She’s got a cute semi-curvy body, a nice smile, and a cute laugh. She has clever jokes, and was very personable.

I ended up texting Kim about 20 minutes after they both left, and I asked Kim to give Simon my phone number and apologized for if I had hurt her. No reply, but that was expected. I had nothing to loose though. So I sent Simon a private message on Facebook too asking that she contact me if she wanted to hang out again. They were coming from 2 hours away, please note.

Long story short, Simon got back to me. We ended up texting each other and talking on the phone almost every single day for 5 days straight. We talked on the phone for hours. One night we talked for 3 hours until midnight, and I haven’t done that since high school! We didn’t always get into deep conversations, but it was never boring and I never wanted to end the call.

Simon is originally from California but has been living in Massachusetts (near Boston) for 5 years. She decided to go back to California after her mother got sick with COPD. Simon has been dating the same woman for the past 4 years, and they lived together for some time. Simon said that her girlfriend needed to deal with some family issues out of state, so they currently have been in an “open relationship” for the last 8 months. They’ve only seen each other once within that time.

This weekend Simon came over to see me. We had an amazing weekend together. On Friday we drank, smoked weed, and laughed and had awesome sex. On Saturday we went to the beach with three of my very good friends. We had an absolute blast at the beach! My friends loved her and said she was super cute for a butch girl, and asked if there’s any way to talk her into staying. Simon is moving to California, and this weekend was her last in Massachusetts. She actually spent two more nights in Massachusetts because of me, because she wanted to see me.

We held hands, flirted, kissed, and laughed all day together. Simon asked me, “why have you been in New Jersey my whole life?” Simon was so refreshing to be around because she made me laugh, made me feel special by telling me how pretty I was or how much fun she was having out with me and my friends, and I felt so comfortable around her. Simon kept telling me all weekend how much she liked “my balls”, which I explained was my Jersey Girl origins. And when we looked at each other, there was something. I didn’t say anything, no need, because she was moving and had some kind of girlfriend drama, this was not a potential relationship happening.